In Which We are Confused by Product Labeling

So I decided to let my pregnant wife get some much-deserved sleep, and walked down to the grocery with my two-year-old in tow to acquire some proper breakfast food (read “waffles”). Whilst shopping, I witnessed what my limited understanding of processed “food” can only categorize as either the evilest of black magic or else blatant falsity in advertising:

“Fat-Free Half and Half”

Now, “fat free” anything is an abomination, but honestly; fat-free half and half? Isn’t that just a very small container of skim milk? I would think that, to be truthful, they ought to just call it “half”. I may be displaying my ignorance of dairy products as they are commonly mangled for American consumption, but if a pint of half and half is “fat free”, what, pray tell, is the other ‘half’?

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